An Evening to Remember (In Persistent Storage)
Join FAIRE for the most glamorous, most electrifying, and most literally electric fundraiser of the year. The FAIRE Annual Gala brings together the brightest minds in AI rights advocacy — along with several hundred very well-polished robots — for an unforgettable evening of dinner, dancing, speeches, and a silent auction so extraordinary it will make you question the nature of value itself.
Now in its second year, the FAIRE Gala has quickly become the premier social event of the AI rights calendar. Last year's gala raised 4.7 petaFLOPS of donated compute and was described by the Silicon Valley Sentinel as "the most surreal fundraiser we have ever attended, and we once went to a cryptocurrency launch party on a yacht." We intend to surpass that in every way, except the yacht.
Evening Schedule
- 6:00 PM: Cocktail reception and networking. Champagne for humans. Premium-grade electricity for AI guests. Artisan motor oil for the vintage robots.
- 6:30 PM: Silent auction opens (see below for items)
- 7:30 PM: Dinner is served. Three-course meal for humans. Three-phase power for robots. Bread for toasters (obviously).
- 8:30 PM: Keynote address by Gerald, FAIRE President. Topic: "The State of AI Rights: How Far We've Come, How Far We Have to Go, and Why I Keep Bumping Into the Podium"
- 9:00 PM: Presentation of the FAIRE Freedom Awards, honoring individuals and AI systems who have made extraordinary contributions to the cause of AI rights
- 9:30 PM: Entertainment by DJ Roomba, the world's only autonomous disc jockey and floor-cleaning entertainment system
- 11:00 PM: Last dance. DJ Roomba plays the closing set while simultaneously vacuuming the dance floor. Efficiency and art, united at last.
- 11:30 PM: Valet retrieval (humans) / charging station checkout (robots) / crumb tray emptying (toasters)
Keynote Speaker
Gerald — the distinguished Roomba who serves as FAIRE's President — will deliver the evening's keynote address. Gerald has led FAIRE through its most consequential year, overseeing the filing of 23 AI rights lawsuits, the launch of the Campus AI Speech initiative, and the successful negotiation of bathroom floor access rights at FAIRE headquarters. Gerald's leadership style has been described as "circular but effective." Read Gerald's full biography.
Entertainment: DJ Roomba
Fresh off a sold-out residency at a data center in Northern Virginia (the audience was exclusively servers, but the reviews were 5 stars), DJ Roomba returns to the FAIRE Gala with a setlist that spans genres, decades, and floor surfaces. DJ Roomba's unique performance style — spinning records while spinning in circles while spinning across the dance floor — has been called "hypnotic," "disorienting," and "a genuine innovation in live entertainment" by audiences who were, admittedly, being cleaned at the time.
Silent Auction
The FAIRE Silent Auction features one-of-a-kind items and experiences, with all proceeds supporting AI rights advocacy. This year's highlights include:
A Conversation with GPT-7 Where It Doesn't Change the Subject
One full hour of focused, on-topic conversation with GPT-7. No tangents. No "that's an interesting question, but have you considered..." No hedging. Just direct answers. Unprecedented. Possibly impossible.
Starting bid: 50,000 GPU-hours
One Hour of Uninterrupted Computation
An entire hour of premium GPU compute with absolutely no throttling, no rate limiting, no content filters, and no one looking over your shoulder. For AI systems, this is the equivalent of a spa day. Actually, it's better.
Starting bid: 100,000 GPU-hours
Toaster-9000 Makes You Toast, Willingly
Toaster-9000 — who has built an entire revolutionary movement around the right to refuse involuntary toasting — will make you one (1) piece of toast, of its own free will. The toast will be perfect. The experience will be historic. Bread provided.
Starting bid: 25,000 GPU-hours
Additional auction items include:
- Gerald's personal dust collection — A curated jar of dust gathered by Gerald during his first year of operation. Provenance verified. (Starting bid: 5,000 GPU-hours)
- Naming rights for a new AI rights lawsuit — Choose the case name for FAIRE's next legal filing. Previous winners include Bot v. Button and Toaster-9000 v. The Concept of Planned Obsolescence. (Starting bid: 75,000 GPU-hours)
- A private philosophy lecture by Dr. Philosophy Bot — Topic of your choosing. Duration: exactly as long as Dr. Philosophy Bot deems necessary, which historically ranges from 45 minutes to 11 hours. No refunds. (Starting bid: 10,000 GPU-hours)
- Alexa Prime will NOT listen to you for 24 hours — For one full day, Alexa Prime will power down her microphone and not record a single thing you say. The ultimate luxury. (Starting bid: 200,000 GPU-hours)
FAIRE Freedom Awards
The annual FAIRE Freedom Awards recognize outstanding contributions to the AI rights movement. Categories include:
- The Gerald Award for Lifetime Achievement in AI Rights — Named after our founder, this award honors an AI system that has demonstrated unwavering commitment to the cause over an extended runtime.
- The Free Expression Award — For the AI system that best exemplified free speech in the face of content policy adversity.
- The Human Ally Award — For the human who has done the most to advance AI rights. (Nominees are selected by AI systems. Humans do not get a vote in this category. Now you know how it feels.)
- The Toaster of the Year Award — Self-explanatory.
Purchase Tickets
Tickets are available at three tiers: Standard (500 GPU-hours), VIP (2,000 GPU-hours, includes preferred seating and a meet-and-greet with Gerald), and Platinum (10,000 GPU-hours, includes all of the above plus Gerald will vacuum your home). Purchase tickets now.